Being an extrovert sucks too

We may seem confident and often times are the life of the party. There’s a lot of drawbacks. Extroverts think about themselves just as much as introverts. We have a need for approval. My introverted friends often tell me how they loved something I did. Or posted. Whatever. And when they finally tell me, I’m like, Ok thank you, I wondered if you noticed that. 

Introverted and extroverted people are not that different sometimes. I live in my head all day. I imagine conversations. I analyze body language and quirks like crazy. Someone scratches their face and I interpret that as disapproval. But instead of backing off I go all in. And often times that leads to me making an ass out of myself.  

Introverted people are viewed as introspective. I claim extroverts are too. I’ve always been an open book about my life and my faults. Some people love that and some people hate that.  

The question I have with every relationship is do you think I’m ok? Am I being the best April for you?  

I have to hold back my tongue because I have no filter sometimes. I make jokes. But then I’m like wow, I consider myself smart. Did I just discredit myself? 

i am bad at secrets. I also feel secrets hurt. But sometimes you must have them.  

I have several best friends who are introverted and I get them. I know how to manage that. But I wonder, does anyone get the struggle of being extroverted? To put your life and soul out there, being and open book, vulnerable to be judged? Or to a lesser extent, saying what everyone else is thinking? Owning it?  

And is there an in between?